It sounds like a rom-com opening. Unfortunately, it’s a pattern we’ve all experienced at work. The person you’re asked to spearhead a project with becomes a real stick in the mud. Maybe their input is delaying progress, or they’re lacking the creativity the work requires. Maybe you feel like they’re doing the bare minimum or fundamentally don’t get it. Whatever the reason, it’s painful. And it’s made even worse when you feel your own reputation is being diminished because of them.
Then, to add salt to the wound, you’re asked if you want to do “partnership coaching” with them, as if you’re part of the problem. Umm, yeah, no.
You’re not alone.
Many of us have a first reaction not to engage in partnership coaching. It feels insulting. You don’t have time to waste. And anyway, the problem is theirs to fix.
The truth is you may be right. But being right doesn’t actually solve the problem. It only makes it harder to see your way out.
Partnership coaching isn’t about rehashing the past or apportioning blame. The focus is on future behaviors and expectations, making tangible commitments to each other and to the work, and trying new patterns so that collaboration becomes easier than it’s been.
The good news:
You may be able to get there yourself. The trick is to catch it early, before thinking and patterns get too entrenched. The moment you feel small pinches in a partnership is exactly the moment to switch things up. A few small shifts can make a surprising difference:
- Solve it together. Name the emerging tension as something between you, not something in either of you. Then work on it as a shared problem.
- Get curious. Focus on what the other person actually needs and is trying to achieve, not just what they’re doing that feels disruptive.
- Cool things down. Take the issue off the table for a moment and spend time together as people. A conversation over coffee with no agenda can go further than another attempt to resolve the problem head-on.
And if you’ve tried all of this and the pinches have become full-on friction, click here to learn about HAVEN’s partnership coaching and reach out to get back on track. As always, we’re here if we can be helpful to you as you continue on the path of igniting exceptional performance at your company.
